HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
It’s Sunday, January 13th, and its time for the first award show of the year, THE 2013 GOLDEN GLOBES! It’s the 70th Anniversary!
That’s right, The People’s Choice Awards DO NOT COUNT because that bullshit is a total set up. Come on, you guys know that they ONLY INVITE THE WINNERS so they guarantee them showing up, right? Well, now you know.
Anyway, I refused to watch the 18,000 hours of pre-game crap on E! And I JUST turned in the NBC “Arrivals” special, with 30 minutes to go. I got sucked into a “Mental Head Games” L&O SVU marathon on USA Network, which is tough to turn away from.
Okay, so here’s Matt Lauer interviewing Richard Gere…was he in a movie last year? Oh, Al Roker is talking to Adele! Damn he’s so short! She looks GREAT in a custom Burberry dress, 50’s chic!
OKAY, IT’S 8:00! HERE WE GO!
IT’S THE GOLDEN GLOBES with your HOSTS, TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER!
Tina & Amy look great! And the jokes are very funny! They took a good dig at Ricky Gervais…you forgot about him already, didn’t you?
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A SERIES, MINISERIES, OR TV MOVIE – MAGGIE SMITH – For Downton Abbey (I hate that name, Downton)
BEST MINI SERIES OR TV MOVIE – GAME CHANGE – Yeah, I don’t know what it is either…oh wait, it’s the Sarah Palin thing!
Oh, Amy did a funny bit, dressed up in a red wig and fake teeth, as a fake nominee, ha hahahahaaaaa.
BEST ACTRESS IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE – JULIANNE MOORE – for Game Change
Wow, the President of the HFP has got jokes! She hit on Bradley Cooper!
BEST ACTOR, TV SERIES, DRAMA – DAMIAN LEWIS for HOMELAND!
BEST TV SERIES, DRAMA – HOMELAND!
This show is kinda boring. I wonder where Ricky Gervais is right now.
Oh look, there’s Jenny From The Block in a nice, sheer, lace, skin tight, show stopper of a dress. Guess who’s back?
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE, MOTION PICTURE – MYCHAEL DANNA for Life Of Pi
BEST ORIGINAL SONG -MOTION PICTURE – ADELE FOR SKYFALL
YOU GO GIRL! Great speech, she’s so down to earth.
BEST ACTOR IN A TV MINISERIES OR TV MOVIE – KEVIN COSTNER for Hatfields & McCoys! His speech is weird, like he was going to announce his retirement or something.
WTF, PRESIDENT CLINTON IS HERE? Wow, he looks good! He’s announcing the movie LINCOLN and Steven looks gobsmacked!
Kristen Wiig & Will Ferrell to a great, hilarious job announcing the BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE COMEDY OR MUSICAL – JENNIFER LAWRENCE for Silver Linings Playbook. Great speech!
Whoops – I turned back to Law & Order for a minute, so I missed the category, but the winner is ED HARRIS – GAME CHANGE
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – ANNE HATHAWAY for Les Mis!
Very gracious speech, especially when she thanked Sally Field!
BEST SCREENPLAY – QUENTIN TARANTINO for Django Unchained – I’M PRETTY SURE HE WAS DRUNK!
BEST ACTOR IN A TV COMEDY SERIES OR MUSICAL – DON CHEADLE – For House Of Lies – I think this is on Showtime, so I’ve never seen it.
BEST FOREIGN FILM – AMOUR from Austria
BEST ACTRESS TV SERIES, DRAMA – CLAIRE DANES – for Homeland
OH LOOK, IT’S BRUNO! Oh Sasha Baron Cohen we missed you! Now he was funny and mixed it up a bit – YAY!
BEST ANIMATED FILM –BRAVE
BEST ACTRESS IN A TV COMEDY OR MUSICAL – LENA DUNHAM for Girls! Poor thing couldn’t walk in her dress, I wonder how high her heels were. Damn, she looks like she’s got a broomstick shoved very far up her ass – what the hell?
MAZEL TOV TO JODIE FOSTER – for receiving the Cecil B. DeMille award!
I must say, that was one of the WEIRDEST speeches I’ve ever seen.
- She did/didn’t come out of the closet (didn’t she do that in 1997 or so?)
- Beautiful tribute to here Mother who has Alzheimer’s – I choked up.
- She’s retiring from acting.
- She’s not retiring from acting.
- She will do something that only dogs will hear.
- She is best friends with Mel Gibson and seems to be the only person who will give him a job.
BEST DIRECTOR OF A MOTION PICTURE – BEN AFFLECK FOR ARGO! SUCK IT OSCARS!
BEST TV SERIES, COMEDY, OR MUSICAL – GIRLS
Okay, there’s about 15 minutes left. I’m falling asleep!
BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE COMEDY OR MUSICAL – HUGH JACKMAN
MOTION PICTURE BEST COMEDY OR MUSICAL – LE MIS
BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA – JESSICA CHASTAIN for ZERO DARK THIRTY!
BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE DRAMA – DANIEL DAY LEWIS for Lincoln!
BEST MOTION PICTURE DRAMA – ARGO!
Okay, the show is over. It was kinda boring. So, now here’s some fashion…which was also kinda boring.
TOO MUCH SIDE BOOB! PLEASE STOP IT
This was a BIG trend last night. So big, that I can’t post all of the photos of all the women who were very offensive to me. But here’s the worst offender – KATHERINE McPHEE
CHANGE UP YOUR LOOK ALREADY!
I’m talking to YOU Halle Berry. Could you please stay off the lavender, and flowers, and blah?
WHO STOLE ANGELINA’S DRESS?
Eva Longoria did. That’s who.
WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS A DISNEY PRINCESS?
Julianne Hough. That’s who.
BEST DRESS OF THE NIGHT
It was Lucy Liu in this Carolina Herrera stunner! For some reason I love it AND hate it at the same time, so she wins!
So, that’s it. The show could have been better, though Tina and Amy did a good job. Blah.
See you at the Oscars!