Han Solo taught me how to be cool under pressure.
James T. Kirk taught me how to think on my feet.
Optimus Prime taught me how to be a good leader and Master Splinter taught me how to just chill.
However, of all the fictional figures who helped shape a young Chris Brennaman into the man he would grow up to be, there’s perhaps none as influential as academic, trail-blazing parapsychologist, and founding member of The Ghostbusters, Dr. Peter Venkman.
People always seem surprised to hear that among names like Prime, Kirk and Solo that Venkman is the one who stands above them all when it comes to shaping my young and malleable mind and personality. I say there was no way he couldn’t not stand at the top. You see, despite being an underachiever, a slacker and kind of a dick, Peter Venkman still managed to be the hero of a beloved movie and that, my friends, spoke to me.
But what, exactly, did Dr. Venkman teach me? Well…
Fact: Peter Venkman was not a good-looking man.
Hell, he wasn’t even the best-looking Ghostbuster. In the Ghostbusters’ looks department, Dr. Venkman was dead last.
Yet he still managed to get the girl. And not just any girl, mind you. He won the heart of Dana Barrett; a classy, musically gifted modern New York woman and he did it all on the merit of his winning personality.
He was witty. He was clever. He was oddly charming and for a kid growing up in the 80s who wasn’t anywhere near being the best looking guy in his class, Peter Venkman taught that, if you honed that personality, looks really didn’t count for all that much.
You Don’t Have To Be Smart… Just Smart Enough
From the first moment we meet Peter Venkman, we know he’s smart. I mean, there he is doing science at a university, for God’s sake. If that doesn’t scream smart, I don’t know what does. But then, we meet Ray Stantz and realize, okay, so maybe Dr. Venkman is the second smartest guy in the room. That’s not a bad place to be. And then Egon Spengler shows up and it becomes painfully clear that, as smart as he is, Venkman ain’t the brightest in the bunch. In fact, he may be the group’s dumb ass as we soon see him asking questions that someone in his field really ought to know.
In other movies, books or TV shows, a guy like Venkman would spend his time in intellectual competition with his peers, or, worse yet, the butt of all the movie’s jokes. But he isn’t, because Peter Venkman is smart enough and really that’s all most of us need to get by in life.
Take me, for example. I was, in fact, a smart kid. From elementary school through high school and all the way until college graduation I was never known as the stupid guy in the group. Sadly, I was never the smartest guy in the group either. I was never top of my class and I was never destined to be valedictorian of anything. Some people chafe at knowing that as smart as they are they’ll never be smartest, but not me. That’s because Peter Venkman was my role model. Because of Peter Venkman, I learned that all those smart people I surrounded myself with were actually assets and if I was good to them, they’d be good to me.
Before you think I’m saying that Peter Venkman taught me to take advantage of people, slow down. Peter Venkman didn’t teach me that. No, he taught me that sometimes, smart people need a little push. The Rays and Egons of the world need someone who can step back and look at things in a non-academic light and say, “hey, what we need to do is sell your parents’ house and start a nationally known parapsychology extermination service.”
Or go to that ballin’ house party down the street as the case may be.
When Things Look Their Bleakest, Embrace It All With a Joke
There they are. On top of a New York skyrise that’s just been converted into a pandimensional portal and an old god is clearly about to wipe humanity off the face of the Earth. Not to mention the giant pastry making its way down the street. Things are the very definition of grim. Clearly, if there were ever a moment to panic, it would be that one.
Except, that ain’t what Dr. Venkman does. No sir, Dr. Venkman makes a couple of smart ass comments, revs up his proton pack and heads off to cross some streams.
For the duration of the movie, whenever things look bad, Peter Venkman has a joke. Being stared down by a Class 5 Full Roaming Vapor? Make a joke. The EPA is threatening to shut your business down? Make a joke. Girlfriend turns into a demonic dog? You know what to do. Make a joke.
When I think back to all of my life’s most stressful moments since 1984, they all have one thing in common and that’s me making a joke. Making light of a dire, grim or other emotional situation has been my go-to for three decades and counting and it all started with Dr. Venkman.
However, for my money, looking back on the lessons Peter Venkman imparted to me, I think the one that has served me best has been and always will be…
How To Put Someone on Tilt
I was never a particularly tough kid. I was the shortest kid in class and that meant that, occasionally, I was going to be the target of a bully or two. All the time I hear horror stories from people who were bullied and think to myself, “My God, but for the grace of Peter Venkman that could have been me.”
The way Peter Venkman dealt with Walter Peck struck me something fierce as a kid. I was in awe that here was the guy who was clearly the villain of the movie sitting across from the guy was, for me at least, clearly the hero. I kept waiting for that moment when the hero would hit the villain, be it in the Ghostbusters’ HQ or the mayor’s office or maybe even in the street.
That never happened though.
What did happen was that at every single turn, Venkman went out of his way to put this government bully on full tilt. I watched with absolute awe and wonder at how Venkman managed to get into the guy’s head and drive him absolutely mad and I realized right then and there that that was how one dealt with bullies; not with violence, which can get a kid suspended or worse, but with a good old-fashioned mind fuck.
Besides, people get over a punch to the jaw. That time that Chris Brennaman got into your head? That lasts a lifetime.
