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‘Hoax’ (review)

Produced by Mitch Dickman, Michael Haskins
Written by Matt Allen, Scott Park
Directed by Matt Allen
Starring Ben Browder, Hutch Dano, Cheryl Texiera,
Shoshana Bush, Brian Thompson, Max Decker,
Matt Reidy, Brian Landis Folkins,
Anthony Ray Parker,
Adrienne Barbeau

 

Damn. I wanted to like this one.

An a-hole TV producer is given ONE LAST CHANCE to redeem himself when he bamboozles an exec to bankroll an investigation into a recent deep woods massacre that appears to have been perpetrated by Bigfoot.

He assembles the usual “types” – druggie diva/show host, freshman cameraman, local guide, security man, etc. to track down the beast.

The film opens with an utterly hideous, awful sequence wherein a bunch of young dipshits are sliced and diced by the creature. This opening is incredibly off-putting, indicating a true slog ahead for the viewer.

Things brighten for literally about two minutes as the always-reliable Adrienne Barbeau brings her usual appeal and professionalism to her ridiculously brief cameo. This cameo is quickly followed by a dumb The Fog joke (we GET IT, Adrienne Barbeau is in your movie!!).

Then we’re back to the grind as the boring and unlikable crew bitch and bicker as they head out into the woods to look for that wacky sasquatch.

Tedium ensues in slow motion, further enhanced by sloppy, dull, energy-sapping editing and wretched sound recording. Seriously, the majority of the film sounds like it was recorded in a broom closet.

It’s nice to see Brian Thompson (Cobra, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) on hand as the security man, but he isn’t given much to do.

The dialogue is mostly risible, with exchanges like:

“Where’s (character X)???”

“He’s dead. Very, very dead!!”

Huh?

And after a fair amount of the cast is killed off in silly, uninteresting ways, we get to the twist.

I won’t spoil it here, but oh man. I appreciate the effort – I love a movie that leans heavily in one direction then springs a surprise explanation near the end.

But the revelation is so poorly handled – with a truly goofy character introduced very late in the game – that is lands with an ugly thud.

The climax is just mean-spirited and stupid and insanely derivative.

I really wish I could write a positive review for this puppy, but that would be a hoax. Oh God, sorry – the mediocrity is catching…..

Hoax is now available on Blu-ray and On Demand

 

 

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